Floss
And I followed you,
holding desperately your trailing hand.
From dodgem screams in head-on collision,
to long kisses on carousels,
sitting the wrong way—
facing you,
holding you—
Yes, I was daring you!
That smile behind your eyes like a loving sun
which I met devouring candy floss,
sugar highs spinning lips together,
meeting and melting our cares;
suspended in ghost trains,
scaring you, opportune for me.
And later, strolling slick sands,
the far bass thuds
tripping our hearts,
setting off our lives:
Still in motion
poem © copyright df barker 2012
oh this is lovely…never kissed someone on a carousel…but sounds wonderfully romantic.. love the mood in this…love and fun and depth..
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mmm nice…kisses on the carousel…up there close to the stars you know, a bit of magic can happen at the fair…and you never know where that might lead…playfully romantic..i like…
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Hi,
What a beautiful poem, very nice, very romantic. 😀
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Yes, get your girlfriend (boyfriend) to sit on same horse facing each other – being small helps, mad too, but my imagination is one of my better ‘gifts’!
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Thank you very much Brian.
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Mags, thank you so much!
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I like the loving sun and the motion of your words ~ enjoyed the read ~
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Well romantic work!!! 🙂
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How about that for fun and romance all thrown in together in one magical fair ground. You couldn’t ask for more, could you!
Lovely! 🙂
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This was so lovely, sweet as candy floss!
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Lots of good stuff here, but it’s the simple pumping of a line like ” the far bass thuds” which nails the piece to the ground for me… I like.
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I could imagine the sound of the calliope and smell the cotton candy – charming and tender scene. K
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lots of nice visuals, really like how it’s written and being addressed to another. Really nice read. Thanks
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Really amazing!!
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What a lovely romantic story with a perfect ending. I loved it.
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i like the pun in still in motion
/roller coaster of dysfunction
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Thank you so much, I appreciate it!
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Thank you so much Patti!
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I’m grateful, thanks very much!
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Thanks very much indeed!
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Brian, thank you so much!
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Thank you very much, I do appreciate it!
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Thanks a lot!!
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Romance at the fair ground… lovely!
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Aaahhh,
Those were the days.
Sweet read, David.
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sugar highs spinning lips together,
meeting and melting our cares;
For me these lines were the catalyst your poem seemed to crystallise around. Lovely.
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Thank you very much Dianne!
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Thanks very much for this!
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Thanks very much David!
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Nice romance, I like the contiuation of a story untold by the opening “And”
Jim
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Very romatic version of a night at the fair. Nice!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/all-wide-eyed-and-loving-me/
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“still in motion” lovely as the whole poem. k.
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That is too romantic for words David. True love is a gift.
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With all the time I spent at fairgrounds as a kid, you’d think I would have a fair romance story. But no–still too nerdy then, I guess! If I did have one, I hope it would be like this.
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Hey I nominated you for the creative blogger awards, do check it out http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/sunday-ramblings-awards-awards/
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Delightful! I couldn’t help but smile as I read! Made me feel much younger…remembering 🙂 Debra
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🙂 Lovely and romantic! I always wondered why boys dare so much, getting themselves in danger, but now I realize, it is to impress girls 🙂 never thought of that.
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Hi, and thank you once again Ina!
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Thank you very much Debra!
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Hi, I am truly flattered, thank you so much!
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Hi, thank you so much – well, I do still have an ‘active imagination’! 😉
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Thank you very much Susan!
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Thank you so much for this!!!
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Thank you very much Charles!
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Thank you so much Jim!
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An interesting set of ideas, particularly fairgrounds as opportunity. I think we all felt that when we went to them as children or teenagers – anything could happen there.
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superb written romantic poem, David, which brings back lots of memories from my teenage days. . Thank you so much for sharing your delightful poem.
Ciao, Francina
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Francina, thank you so much!
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Thank you once again, Francina.
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Childhood sweethearts at a seaside playground is what I am seeing as I read these lines. Thanks for the memories of watching my own small children at play along the Gulf of Mexico beaches near Mobile, Alabama!
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This is lovely and whimsical and romantic, David! Really enjoyed it. And here is a beautiful line…’That smile behind your eyes like a loving sun’
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